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Info Centre - Life with your 'settled' baby
Life with your settled baby
During the three to six months period, babies are sometimes referred to as ‘settled’ as this is the stage at which they generally become more predictable and manageable.Cry baby
Your baby will still be sleeping for longish periods but will be ready for social play when they are awake. Crying and fussing usually decreases at this stage, often through mums and dads having a better understanding of their baby’s behaviour. However, babies who cried a lot in the early weeks will still be difficult to manage during this period. Although they also cry less, the decrease is often less noticeable. Parents of sensitive, reactive babies often begin to see differences between their experience of life as a parent and the experiences of their friends at this stage. Although it can make you feel like you are doing something ‘wrong’, it’s important to remember that the parenting skills of mums and dads with sensitive babies have to be very good in order to cope with their baby’s needs. Letting go of the idealised image of perfect parents and docile babies is an important step – learn to value and reward yourself for what you are doing.Learning together
In the first five years of his life, your baby will learn more rapidly than he will at any other stage. To help him to do this effectively, he needs to learn how to learn through his relationship with his parents. This helps him to understand how people respond to each other and develop social skills for life. Talking to your baby about what is going around him, sharing books together and talking through activities all establish communication patterns. Although it can feel stilted at first, most parents find that they are chatting easily to their responding baby by the time that he reaches six months.Milestones are just a marker
Information about what babies ‘should’ be doing at a certain stage can be sometimes be reassuring. However, it’s important to remember that milestones are just markers rather than set in stone. Babies learn and develop at different rates, so let him go at his own pace and encourage his achievements, whether he is a cautious walker or an early chatterbox. Development is a ‘what’ and ‘how’ rather than a ‘when’. If your baby is mastering a skill, it’s better to leave them to fully grasp that stage of development rather than push them onto the next stage due to a chart that states these are the correct learning stages for your baby. Sometimes, your baby may seem to lose a skill they were previously confident in due to concentrating on gaining a new ability. However, once he has gained the new skill, you will see that the old ones are still present and he will often use all his abilities to move into the next development stage.Mixed emotions
Some parents find their baby’s move towards greater independence quite difficult, as that initial stage of babyhood is being left behind. It can also create new anxieties in mums and dads who feel they have just learnt to cope with their baby and will now have to adjust again. Talking to other parents can really help, as you can share your worries and your tips. However, you may find that talk can turn to how everyone’s baby is doing, which can lead to pressure. If this makes you uncomfortable, you can try another group or have some ready answers for mums and dads with a tendency for competitive parenting. If you are ever concerned about any aspect of your baby’s development, seek support. Your health visitor or GP will be able to help and you don’t have to wait until routine development checks to ask. In most cases, you will be reassured that everything is ok but occasionally it may mean that your child needs extra help and support.
Page lasted updated 2009.
