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I'm a member of the NCT - I've just been told by a friend that I can download a birth plan from your website but I can't seem to find it. Can you let me know how to find it? Thanks for your help.

Hi Liz

Thanks for contacting the NCT about preparing a birth plan.  We don't have an official 'plan' that you can download because, of course, everyone will have very different hopes and expectations of how their birth might be.

We can give you some idea of what you might like to consider covering in your own birth plan, and certainly having something in writing will help any birth supporters you may have to understand your wishes for your labour and enable them to (gently) remind you of your wishes along the way.

You can read the NCT article on birth plans cited on the birthchoice UK website at:

http://www.birthchoiceuk.com/Frame.htm

which you may find helpful.

Good luck with the remainder of your pregnancy and for the birth of your baby.

Louise

Another question but a different subject.

My wife does baby massage as part of our baby's nightly routine, but I would like to know when to combine a bath into this routine, before or after massage and how long after eating?

Many Thanks

Hi Simon & Jo

Many thanks for contacting NCT with your question, and sometimes it's hard to know what to do for the best isn't it?

What a great experience for your baby having a massage in the nightime routine.  There is not a specific answer to this one as we are all very different, and so are our babies!  What I can be confident of is that you will figure out what works for your baby.  My input would be purely personal and I guess I would go with the idea that we, as adults, feel lovely and relaxed after a bath, and how nice it might be to be rubbed down and massaged afterwards too?  Most babies settle quite well after their last feed, so perhaps that could follow a bath and massage?

It sounds like you are already nurturing your baby very effectively, so have confidence in your ability to approach this in whatever way you and your wife feel will work best for you and your baby.

Enjoy!

Louise

 

hi,

At the moment my wife is breast-feeding our baby (Harry), who is 8 months old.

My concerns are that what to do when my wife returns to work?

We are currently weaning, which seems to be going very successfuly. But Harry doesn't seem to be cutting down on his breast feeds.

When my wife returns to work in 9 weeks time, she is a nurse and will have to work some nights and also 12 hour shifts which means she will get home at 8 o'clock, by which time I hope Harry will be in bed.

Can we introduce Harry to a milk feed (other than exprerssed breast milk)? If so what milk can you recommend?

This is giving my wife a great deal of stress as we approach her return to work and Harry going to nursery.

Any help gratefully received, we are both NCT members and have been very impressed by the Simonlk. we have had thus far, especially when Joanne was in hospital and starting breast-feeding, our local (Luton) adviser was simply amazing!

Hi Simon,

I am sorry to learn that this is causing stress to your wife which is indeed understandable since you are clearly loving and caring parents.

The first thing to consider is that you are currently weaning which has undoubtedly given rise to substantial change in his feeing habits: grown up food as opposed to only milk. So alot can happen in 9 weeks and this may lead to him dropping one or two more feeds which may change  the decision you make about the type or indeed the amount of milk given. It sounds sensible to be thinking about  this now so that you can experiment with different recepticals and types of milk. We are not trained to give information on formula but your health visitor can help with this. It might be that by then he will only demand a morning and a night feed which may work without too much change. Have you tried giving expressed breast of milk? This may keep the transitition to mum going back to work smoother if he recognises the taste. These are just a few thoughts to be going on with. 

It sounds as if you are being really supportive Simon and this will help both of you to make decisions that will work long term. Part of being a parent is thinking the issue through, trying different things and going with what works for you both and Harry.

Good luck and best wishes to you all

Jane Saville Breastfeeding Counsellor

 

Hello, My son is currently just under 7 months old. I have been exclusively breastfeeding him and now its time for me to go back to work in 3 weeks. Over the course of the 7 months he has had the occasional bottle of expressed milk. But now he simply refuses to have the bottle and gets very upset and I don't know what to do. I've tried different teats, my husband has tried with me out of the house. He'll drink a bit of juice from a doidy cup at meals times. Now i'm trying a sippy cup with juice in to start with. He's on 3 meals a day and has always been a hungry baby but nothing but the boob will do where milk is concerned. He's currently cut down his milk feeds to morning, lunchtime, teatime, bedtime and once in the night. Any help would be much appreciated.

Hi Jo,

So you are going back to work in 3 weeks, not sure if that is full or part time as this may impact on how you go about this. It is common to have this problem and  the only way to tackle it is to experiment with different recepticals. Once you introduce a bottle it is good idea to regularly use it so that they get used to it. When it is used occassionally they simply forget and realise that they prefer the breast, of course! So it may be a good idea for your husband to continue giving him a bottle over the next few weeks at least several times a week. Another suggestion  would be to mix as much of your milk as possible into his solid feeds so that you know he is getting it. It may be that he drops another feed which could change things. These are just a few ideas to get you thinking.

 Best of luck with whatever decisions you make.

Jane Saville Breastfeeding Counsellor

Hi, I am pregnant with my first baby and would really like to express my milk for my baby but dont fancy the idea of breatfeeding. I would really like to express from birth for my baby and be able to give it from bottle. Is this possible to do?

Hi, Claire. Yes, it is possible to do this, but it's worth while thinking of the hard work involved in doing this! If you call the breastfeeding line 0870 444 8708 a breastfeeding counsellor will listen and support you whatever your choice, and she will make sure you have the information to make it an informed choice. Sometimes, women have to express and feed from a bottle because their baby is unable to suck from the breast direct (perhaps because of an oral anomaly, like cleft lip, cleft palate) but they would not usually choose to do this - a lot of the convenience and some of the benefits of breastfeeding are reduced when breastfeeding is done 'indirectly' (though nutritionally, of course, formula milk is a far riskier choice).

 

So....I hope you'll give the breastfeeding line a call and find it helpful to enable you to work out all the pros and cons before making a decision!

 

all the best for you and your baby

 

Heather Neil  

Hello. My baby is one week old and I am a little confused as to how to work out the following things:

-Do I need to feed him a bit from each breast with each feed or do I give him one altrnate breast each time?
- Can I assume that if milk runs out of his mouth, that he's had enough to eat?
- Is there an average time a feed should last?

Many thanks
Annette

Hi Annette

Congratulations on the arrival of your little boy. I do hope that I can help with your questions.

Breastfeeding tends to work best when you let your baby ‘tell’ you what they want. If your baby seems to be feeding happily on one side, and you feel comfortable, then there is no need for you to disturb him after a particular time. Your baby is likely to come off himself when he is ready to. If he still seems interested in feeding, then by all means offer him the other breast, but if he’s not bothered, or if he’s dozed off, then you could start the next feed at the other breast.

There’s a few reasons while milk you run out of your baby’s mouth. When you body recognises that your baby is ready to feed, the muscles in the breast squeeze out some of the milk which is being made there, helping your baby to feed. But if this happens quickly, or if your baby pauses for a moment, he may receive more milk than he’s ready to swallow and lets it escape from the sides of his mouth. At other times, yes, your baby may simply decided he doesn’t want any more. So it may help to look at your baby, and see when and how this is happening and whether he wants to carry on feeding. It can take babies a little while to get the whole business working neatly without spills.

If you’re watching your baby, and looking to him for signs of how long he wants to feed, you are likely to find that, just like adults, he will take different lengths of time over different ‘meals’. It might be a good idea for you to talk some things through with someone knowledgeable about breastfeeding. Then can help you to understand what your baby is doing when he feeds, so that you feel confident in recognising the signs that he is feeding well. Your midwife or health visitor may be able to help with this; you would also be welcome to call the NCT Breastfeeding Line on 0870 444 8708 and chat to a Breastfeeding Counsellor who would take the time to help you understand any concerns so that you didn’t feel confused anymore.

Annette, I do hope that this information gives you a good start, and that you feel you can ask for more if it would help. 

Kind regards 

Kirsty Nicol

Breastfeeding Counsellor

firstyl, thanks for your help on previous issues...I live fulltime in france with my husband and 12 month old daughter. She has exclusively breastfed from the start and shows no desire at all to stop! My major concern is the nighttime feeding - she still wakes in the night for a feed, the most frequent now is once, between 2 and 4am. When teething its more. I would really like to stop this feed as i am exhausted by this. She does feed well usually. She has 3 breast feeds during the day and this is maybe part of the problem: in the morning when she goes for a nap, a small one in the afternoon and a larger one at bedtime. I never put her to bed asleep and she is happyto get herself to sleep. She is very happy and healthy but i really need to stop the night feed, soon. The others can wait. She has 3 regular meals a day, weetabix with cows milk, lunch and dinner and has on average 2 yoghurts a day as well. She does not like cows milk(and would never have formula)but i am watering in it down so she drinks a little. She by far prefers water. Sorry for the long message, but there are no health visitors/support here the Dr thinks shes doing great and cant seem to see i need a bit of help.
Many thanks

 Hi Katie,

It does indeed sound as though you are exhausted by the night time feeding especially as she is 12 months old. It is clear from your e-mail that your priority is to stop the night feedings altogether. Additially, it sounds as though you are happy with the daytime and it is clear from what you say that she is thriving.

So, I wonder if you have had any ideas about how to manage the situation when she wakes at night. Do you think it is hunger or habit or just she likes to chat at night!! Perhaps then you could look at weaning her off that feed by finding a soother, cuddly toy or by gently talking to her and soothing her by stroking her back or whatever you find works. Part of being a parent is the not knowing for sure why they do what they do but you are the best judge and it may be case of trial and error.It certainly sounds as though she does seek comfort from feeding when she is teething so this may give you a clue about her night time habits, may be you could look at adjusting the feed pattern in the day to see if that maks a difference.

Good luck and if you feel you would like to talk this through please feel free to call the helpline 0870 444 8708.

Best wishes

Jane Saville BF Counsellor

 

 

My baby is just over 2 weeks old and we have established breast feeding-however, once in 24 hours she will fall asleep in my arms and no matter how long I wait to put her down she will scream within 5 minutes of doing so and will continue to scream for the next 4 hours when you put her down, Dad can also appease her but once she's put in her basket she screams the same. Please help

Hi Catherina

Congratulations on the birth of your baby girl, and it sounds like you are doing a great job as a new mum, establishing breast feeding and looking for support to help you through a difficult patch with settling your baby.

You don't say specifically when within the 24 hours your baby dislikes being laid down, and I have to assume that at other times she can do it.  So, I am wondering what the specific need for laying her down is other than at actual bed time for yourselves - in which case it is quite necessary for you of course.

Perhaps you could try running through a quick check list of the environment first - is it warm without being too hot, is it peaceful - or perhaps too peaceful (some babies settle better with a little normal noise going on around them).  Once you are sure the environment is OK then you can consider other things.  Maybe laying her gently and then keeping one hand spread over her body, perhaps gently holding her shoulder so that she can still sense and feel you there and gradually releasing your pressure until you can gently remove your hand leaving her asleep?

Caroline Deacon has written a lovely book called Baby Calming which is available through NCT sales on this site and that may be worth a read.

Catherina, your baby is still very new and these things do become easier in time as you both grow together and learn about each other.  There is no reason, other than it is what you need and want, that you have to put her down because she has fallen asleep, but that is very much your choice and it's important to meet your own needs too.  If, however, she is happy to fall asleep in your arms in the day, and you are happy with that too, then perhaps you could relax too and enjoy the moment.?

I do hope this has helped, and would encourage you to have a look at the above book.

Louise

My baby was 9lb 1 oz at birth 4 weeks ago. I am breastfeeding him. Unfortunately he hasn't yet regained his birthweight at 4 weeks, he went down to 8lb 7oz and at last weighing on Friday was 8 11 1/2 oz. Feeding has been going well, we have a good latch on (observed by health visitor). However the baby does not regularly ask to be fed and often needs to be prompted at least every 4 hours to feed. If left at night he doesn't wake for food so we have to set an alarm to feed him.
The health visitor advised me to supplement his feeds with formula. I brought some but am reluctant to use it. In other respects, baby is fine, bright and alert for periods, plenty of wet and dirty nappies each day etc.
I am aware since my partner went back to work 2 weeks ago I haven't been eating as well or getting much rest. Can this have caused the probs and if I rectify this will I be able to avoid giving baby formula? What else can I do other than supplement? Surely it shouldn't be the first option?

Hi, Lisa. I hope we can help. I can understand you feel concerned about the way breastfeeding is going, and the way your baby still needs to be woken up to feed....most babies of this age are enthusiastic and frequent feeders and have gained their birthweight and more some time ago, so it's not surprising you want to explore ways of ensuring effective feeding.

 

It's a real shame your health visitor is not able to suggest anything else to help except formula.

 

From what you say, it sounds as if your baby is healthy, but he could do with more food - this can be breastmilk, of course, and does not have to be formula (unless you have reason to think that extra milk is now urgent, and this doesn;t seem to be the case). There are different ways to ensure this happens.

 

You can offer supplements of expressed breastmilk, if your baby seems unable to feed direct from the breast often enough or effectively enough.

 

You can feed him more often -  I understand you are waking him to feed, but this may need to be done even more often. You can hold him close skin to skin for as much of the day and night as you can, and this will encourage him to feed, and enable you to respond to very gentle feeding cues from him very quickly.

 

You can offer both breasts at least twice per feed.

 

You can use breast compression (google it, with the words Dr Jack Newman, as there are web-based instruction sheets on it) which keeps him sucking.

 

Eating and resting will  make very little difference to your breastfeeding, though of course it's good for your own well-being.

 

A call to the breastfeeding line 0870 444 8708 will give you the chance to talk all these options through with a breastfeeding counsellor, and she may help you explore other ideas, too.  Sometimes, positioning and attachment can be improved to help the baby have a more effective feed.

 

I hope this helps, Lisa, and you and your baby continue to breastfeed as long as you wish.

 

Heather Neil, breastfeeding counsellor 

I am experiencing what I think is pelvic girdle pain (rather than sciatica because the symptoms fit better). It isn't SPD but is located at the back of the pelvis. I can't find very much info about the condition and the most up to date I have is from 2005. Does the NCT have any more up to date info?

Thanks Charlotte

Hi Charlotte,

Thank you for contacting the NCT.

I'm sorry that you are experiencing pelvic pain.  We can't give specific medical advice here at the NCT, however, pelvic girdle pain (PGP) is the term now used to refer to all pelvic pain whether it is at the front around the pubic bone or at the back as you are experiencing.

As your pregnancy progresses your body produces a hormone, relaxin, which softens the ligaments throughout the body, specifically so that the pelvis is more flexible for your baby to move through the pelvis during labour & birth.  However, the softening of the ligaments between the joints of the pelvis can result in a misalignment of the pelvic joints which can be painful.  PGP symptoms can range from quite mild to severe and restrict mobility. It can also continue after birth for some weeks and months.  You may want to mention this pain to your midwife next time you see her.  It maybe that she can refer you onto a specialist physiotherapist for treatment.

You will find some more useful information at The Pelvic Partnership website  http://www.pelvicpartnership.org.uk  a charity to support women suffering from SPD.

Charlotte, I do hope this information helps and that you get some help from the professionals in your area.

best wishes

Clare Charlton, Antenatal teacher